In Art, DID, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Multiplicity, Pencil, Therapy, Trauma on June 28, 2009 at 11:43 pm

Watching the world go by

Watching the world go by

This one hasn’t been finished just not sure of what direction to go exactly (medium wise).  The drawing is a sort of flashback image I had in therapy.  I don’t remember what the conversation was just that all of a sudden I was dissociating back to preschool.  I was watching all my little classmates run around and have fun, I wanted so much to join them but I was to afraid.  This happened a lot in my school years.  Instead of joining in with my classmates I often sat back watching, floating off into my own little world.  This memory/flashback was really upsetting to me all the feelings of loneliness and fear came rushing at me.  I guess dissociating was how I dealt with it back then but this time I had to face the feelings full force.  One of the hard things was trying to communicate what was going on and communicate with this part of me because, this was a part of me that can’t or won’t speak.  She just sits eyes wide absorbing everything she sees, trying to get attention and remain unassuming/”invisible” at the same time.



In Art, Dissociation, Family, Pencil, Therapy, Trauma on June 24, 2009 at 9:50 pm

Cut Short - Pencil

Cut Short - Unfinished Pencil

This image came from thinking about how I felt about my mom, feeling like my growing was cut in someway.  I think it’s just feeling like I’m not at all supported.  Originally the axe was supposed to be sort of flying through and chopping the tree, and I think there was supposed to be a small sprout coming out of the stump.  It’s not quite done, still being fiddled with.

The self-portrait that wasn’t

In Art, Colored Pencil, DID, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Multiplicity, Pencil on June 20, 2009 at 10:01 pm

"Non-" self portrait

I was trying to get motivated to try and attempt a self-portrait, I don’t like doing them.  I decided to in a way to give up and just try drawing something.  This is what happened.  It’s pretty funny if you actually know me or looked at some earlier posts, maybe even read my “About Me”.  Definitely this  is nothing like me.  The odd thing was when I was done…it looks just like one of my more unknown inner parts.  It’s one of those parts that I think hides so, much of the time I wonder if she really exists or not.  This makes that part seem more real though.  Maybe it can be a little link to her.