Archive for the ‘Therapy’ Category
Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, flashback, inner parts, memory, Pencil, Therapy, Trauma
In Art, DID, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Multiplicity, Pencil, Therapy, Trauma on June 28, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Watching the world go by
This one hasn’t been finished just not sure of what direction to go exactly (medium wise). The drawing is a sort of flashback image I had in therapy. I don’t remember what the conversation was just that all of a sudden I was dissociating back to preschool. I was watching all my little classmates run around and have fun, I wanted so much to join them but I was to afraid. This happened a lot in my school years. Instead of joining in with my classmates I often sat back watching, floating off into my own little world. This memory/flashback was really upsetting to me all the feelings of loneliness and fear came rushing at me. I guess dissociating was how I dealt with it back then but this time I had to face the feelings full force. One of the hard things was trying to communicate what was going on and communicate with this part of me because, this was a part of me that can’t or won’t speak. She just sits eyes wide absorbing everything she sees, trying to get attention and remain unassuming/”invisible” at the same time.
Art, Family, growing, healing, lack of support, mom, Pencil, support, Trauma
In Art, Dissociation, Family, Pencil, Therapy, Trauma on June 24, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Cut Short - Unfinished Pencil
This image came from thinking about how I felt about my mom, feeling like my growing was cut in someway. I think it’s just feeling like I’m not at all supported. Originally the axe was supposed to be sort of flying through and chopping the tree, and I think there was supposed to be a small sprout coming out of the stump. It’s not quite done, still being fiddled with.
Acrylic, anger, art therapy, DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Family, inner parts, mom, paint, painting, random, secrets, Self-injury, Trauma
In Acrylic, Art, DID, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Family, Multiplicity, Therapy, Trauma on June 20, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Late night painting
Late night painting
These two were just random late night paintings. Just kind of did them with no real point in mind except to see what happened when I put a brush to paper. The only thing in mind was feelings of an inner part, hoping that maybe painting would help. The first one was about feelings of self-harm. It’s kind of funny because there was a drawing from earlier in the year that was done in the same colors, all colors that I don’t like which was on purpose. This time they were picked at random. The red is the anger, rage, the yellow had something to do with spirits or something spiritual, I forget what the green was, I think the brown was about darkness. I want to say the green was something about grounding and perhaps the brown too.
The second painting was even more random. I think I was just about ready to go to bed when that one happened. Don’t remember much about it except it was something about feelings toward my mom. I remember listening to the sound of the brush making the red streaks that look like flowers and hearing something say it sounded like whispering. There was something about the whispering sound being all the secrets kept being put down on the paper. The red again being the anger about those secrets. I think the green and yellow represent the same things in this painting as the first.
art therapy, Colored Pencil, doodle, love and loss
In Art, Colored Pencil, Therapy, Trauma on March 29, 2009 at 12:13 am
This is one of the ones that came from the “Art as a way of knowing” book exercises. I was thinking about love and loss and just started to doodle away while thinking about those feelings/topic. There is a peacock thing and then this weird ugly bird in front of it that doesn’t seem to know if it’s a bird or a snake. Then there are some strange paisley tears and I guess that’s a person (on the left in sorta of a purple) or …something ha!
art therapy, art therapy book, free draw, scribbling, Therapy
In Art, Therapy on January 25, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I’ve been reading this book my therapist gave me, “Art as a Way of Knowing”, I’m not sure how much I really like it though. I like the fact that she mentions how art is such a judgement loaded word and can really turn some people off. That would be me! She says she tends to use the words images or image making so people won’t limit themselves, which is good but it gets a little annoying after awhile. I think after awhile the whole book starts to feel a little too new agey for me. She has this method that she uses of setting an intention (I’d like to know more about my inner critic, for example) and then you just set about making ‘marks’ on the page and let whatever comes, come. Sometimes this works ok, other times I don’t know… I mean ’scribbling on a page can be fun and interesting but sometimes it’s just …scribbles. I’ll probably finish reading it but, I can’t say I’m going to be trying anything else out from the book. I think no doubt I’ll still let myself goof around and scribble as that’s about all I feel comfortable doing here in my moms house. I think I’m gonna move on to my other two art books though and see what they have to offer. I might put up to examples of things that came out of this book experience though. Stay tuned.
Art, art therapy, assault, Assault w/ deadly weapon, Dissociation, flashback, Nightmare, Pastel, PTSD, Therapy, Trauma, Trigger, weapon
In Art, Dissociation, PTSD, Pastel, Therapy, Trauma on August 21, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, inner parts, Trauma
In Art, DID, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Multiplicity, Pastel, Therapy, Trauma on July 18, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Dissociation, random, Trauma
In Art, DID, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Multiplicity, PTSD, Pastel, Therapy, Trauma on July 18, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Random Soft Chalk Pastel
Really not sure what this is about, it was just kind of something random. The dark dots are actually purple not dark blue.
Art, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Pastel, PTSD, song, Therapy, Trauma
In Art, DID, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Multiplicity, PTSD, Pastel, Therapy, Trauma on July 15, 2008 at 1:19 am
I dreamt I was an angel - Soft Chalk Pastel
Medication is kicking in pretty hard but wanted to post one more for now. This is another one inspired by a song, “In to the Wild Blue Yonder”. It was done sometime after the last one I just posted and was still trying to work through all of that.
Art, art therapy, Assault w/ deadly weapon, Dissociation, PTSD, Therapy, Trigger
In Acrylic, Art, Colored Pencil, Dissociation, PTSD, Therapy, Trauma on July 15, 2008 at 1:07 am
amnesia, Art, Dissociation, memory, Pastel, Shadow People, Trigger
In Art, Dissociation, Pastel, Therapy on July 9, 2008 at 12:53 am
This is something that has come up again for me recently. My mom one day asked me about something that happened way back in high school. I couldn’t remember anything though my brain just did a complete skip (you know when you stick a CD into your computer and you can hear it trying to read it but nothings happening? You just kind of sit there going “come on, come on, come on!”). I just got the tiniest flash of something and this was it. It looks scary and I’m not entirely sure if it was or not. My mom had asked me if I had been scared but I couldn’t remember. Maybe not at that moment.
Safe or unsafe memory? - Soft Pastel
Art, David Gray, Flowers, Pastel, song, Trauma, Tulips
In Art, Dissociation, PTSD, Pastel, Therapy, Trauma on July 9, 2008 at 12:27 am
Tulips in moonlight - Soft Pastel
This one came from listening to a song by David Gray, called “Shine”. There were two images in my head and this was one of them. It’s just based on a feeling about my home where I grew up. I was away at school when I did this. I was sort of reminising about the summer and how I would take my two ferrets out at night since it was cooler. I remembered how the tulips in my mom’s garden just always looked like they were glowing because of the moonlight. I think there is something more to this but, I’m not sure how to explain.
abuse, Art, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Pastel, PTSD, rape, sexual assault, Trauma, Trigger
In Art, DID, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Multiplicity, PTSD, Pastel, Therapy, Trauma on July 8, 2008 at 11:17 pm
I don’t remember at what point in my sessions this was done. It has to do with the repeated abuse I went through at age 18. This is really more about the first time it happened. I can now remember there were three of us at various levels of consciousness. One part of me totally took over and kept the rest of us “safe”, she reframed everything, put on a front for us. Another part of me was trapped somewhere in the glass, pounding on the window wondering why this all was being allowed to happen. I was trapped on the other side partly “asleep”, partly trying to believe it was going to be ok, and partly just wanting/hoping to forget. I hear that other part of me these days, and I try not to ignore her. I try to figure out how to help.
A Part Remembering - Soft Pastel
Art, Colored Pencil, Dissociation, journey, PTSD, Survivor, Therapy, Trauma
In Art, PTSD, Therapy, Trauma on July 8, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Nature Scene in Colored Pencil
I did this drawing back around the end of ‘06 maybe. It was the first time I just kind of let go and let whatever happen, happen. I knew I couldn’t draw so I wasn’t expecting much. There was just this image in my head. I saw this scary looking forest with trees that looked like they might reach out and grab you, or at least try to trap you in some way. There was a lake or a pond, which I saw as some place peaceful. A place of reflection, self-reflection. Then off a little ways there was this brilliantly colored tree that was just kind of bursting with life. I felt like I was caught some where between the forest and the pond. I want so badly to get to that tree. I want to be that tree. It sounds cheesey maybe but, that was how I was feeling.
